On Mondays hike I knew something wasn’t right, I couldn’t ignore my (usual) pain levels. After stopping twice I decided I had to focus on getting out of the woods. My heart felt heavy and I looked around frantically, trying to drink in everything that I could. The Motherwort popping up, the Heron flying home to roost, Racoon fingerprints in the mud, and Goslings feeding along the bank. I shed a tear at that last gift. I have been treating my heel/achilles/ankle for 4 years, only finding reprieve with staying in shape along the trails. This almost two year practice has soothed not only my body but also my heart and mind. More than shots, physical therapy, and pain medicine ever could. I credit exercise with helping to keep me level headed. I credit nature for keeping me afloat every day. I’m hoping for some slow walks in the near future but even then my most treasured spots are hidden down the banks by the water, likely unreachable. I’m writing this in the hopes for good vibes from you all, not to complain. In two weeks I will find out if I need surgery or not (who do I know that’s had work done on their Achilles??). I am really balking at that idea. I am however tired of chronic pain and enduring it in silence every damn day. I miss the damp earth, I miss watching the landscape change daily, I miss the way the birds speak. I miss the way I see each and every one of us in the parts of the wild that most do not pay any mind to. I have won many an uphill battle but I am surrendering to this one. I am tired, in so many ways. I am hopeful in few. When you are out for your next stroll, notice how the bees take their time, yet remain diligent in finding their powdered gold. Listen to how the Geese call to one another, eager to regroup and move as one, come autumn. Breathe in and soak up the magic that is the scent of water and earth melting together to create life. Feel the way the wind tickles your neck, often flirtatious, sometimes bossy. “𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘱𝘰𝘦𝘮 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵,” 𝘓𝘢𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘯 𝘡𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘢. These are the things that I dream of.. -JL
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